Marriage is AWESOME!

23 October 2011, 7:07 pm by Giggles
Categories: Education, Family, Happy Things, Learn Something, Musings, Relationships, Work

Right now I’m working in an elementary school in the mornings for my dissertation. I’m teaching college in the afternoon to try (and not succeed that well) to pay for my degree. And I work with the young women (12-18 year-olds) at church in the evenings and on weekends. Plus, you know, the rest of life.

A few weeks ago I left on a Friday morning to go out and do my thing and as I was walking out the door I turned to Brett and said, “I feel like I’m forgetting something. It’s probably because I’m not taking my computer with me today.” And then I continued out the door, got in the car, and drove off. Halfway to the elementary school I realized what I had forgotten – everything I needed for the elementary school that morning. Turned around, drove faster than I should to get home, ran into the house and grabbed my stuff, as I was running back to the car Brett asked if I’d forgotten something and I called out, “Everything!” and then drove faster than I should and got to the elementary school with one minute to spare.

As I left the elementary school much calmer an hour later I realized that I could have, and did, run around like that when I was single. But there was something about doing it that morning with Brett there that somehow made it easier. When I emailed Brett my thoughts on the matter and explain why his wife had been tearing through the house that morning after he’d already kissed her good-bye he said, “I’m glad me watching you run around like a headless chicken is all the support you need :-)”

I could, and did, live life single for many years. I had a career I was good at while single. I got one graduate degree and started another while single. I expanded my talents while single (belly dancing, theater). I traveled while single. I moved states while single. I got by just fine. There are some who might say I didn’t “need” a man. And on one level that might be true. But on a deeper level it couldn’t be further from the truth. I enjoyed my single life, but it wasn’t something to celebrate and throw a parade over. Marriage is what we need, what we celebrate and throw parades about. Because marriage is awesome. “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (The Family: A Proclamation to the World).

Somehow, knowing Brett is there makes it easier for me to do what I need to do. He is not doing my research or teaching with me. I was doing those things just fine on my own. But there is something about being married that makes me more capable in what I’m doing. President Hinckley said, “In our old age my beloved companion said to me quietly one evening, ‘You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it'” (“The Women in Our Lives,” General Conference, October 2004).

This morning we both learned a new term – inosculation. Two separate trees grow all on their own. They are independent. They are individual. But at some point they grow so their branches touch. Over time the bark where they touch wears away and the cores of the branches meet. When that happens the two branches graft themselves to each other. Through that connection the one tree nourishes the other and helps support it while the other tree does the same in return. Based on that point of connection they are one organism. The two have become one.

I think maybe marriage is like that. We had two separate lives. But marriage has joined us in a way so that we take strength from each other. Maybe that’s why all the things I was doing before on my own are somehow easier now, why I can handle things now I wouldn’t have dreamed I could handle before. Through marriage we are one.

Photos from the day we met-met to Saturday.
6 Shared thoughts

The blank book

21 October 2011, 10:26 am by Giggles
Categories: Education, Happy Things, Musings, Science & Tech

I think one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is a blank book. It’s a gift of potential. I can spend hours at a book store trying to pick out the perfect blank book for my next journal. I love the expectation of a new notebook.

For many years I loved unlined sketch books for my journals, and my notebooks for classes. I liked the freedom they allowed to go in any direction and any size I wanted. Some days my handwriting was calm and smaller. But you can also see the days when I was upset and the writing is larger and faster. I also did little pictures (thumb print drawings) to illustrate entries every now and then. And if I’m printing I can keep my rows straight without the lines.

I decided three years ago that I wanted to start doing my journal in cursive again. I practiced for a few months before starting the new journal because it had been so long since I’d written anything but checks with cursive. I also bought a leather covered, lined journal at that time. It’s beautiful. I love the feel of it.

When Brett proposed I bought a small pocket sized note book and kept almost daily notes in it for the next six months till just over a month after the wedding. I wrote the things we said and did that made me smile. It’s a lot of fun to look back through that book.

At the beginning of my eighth grade year my family moved states. Before we moved my math teacher gave me a package and a card. The package was a blank book. The card read:

Dear Lisa,

We will all miss you very much. Our best wishes go with you. And, we know you’ll do fine, make lots of friends, and love your new home.

You are a young lady with lots of thoughts. Please use the book to record some of your thoughts to keep (as your journal).

You come from a rich tradition which – people who keep records. God bless you as you assume your part of this tradition.

Sincerely,
Mrs. P.

That meant so much to me. A blank book is an amazing gift. (And she was an amazing teacher.)

Blank books can come in many forms. Bound books. Small books. Large books. Spiral books. Sketch books. And even blog books. Thank you for letting me continue to record some of my thoughts and share them with you here. Yesterday MissGiggles.com turned 8 years old. This has been a great blank book that’s grown in any direction I’ve needed it too.

4 Shared thoughts

“Slightly” is a slight exaggeration

19 October 2011, 6:07 pm by Giggles
Categories: Random

Growing up my dad used to tell me that it was a good thing nobody in our family was blind because they’d be forever running into something in my room. The furniture never stayed put. I rearranged my room at least yearly, often more.

Two weeks ago I had a day at home and, well, I did it again. About 2 in the afternoon I was chatting with Heidi and I asked her how long she thought it would be before Brett realized I’d rearranged our bedroom slightly.  An hour later I realized that “slightly” was a slight exaggeration because I’d moved every piece of furniture in our bedroom, including trading a bookcase that was in the bedroom for a bookcase we’d had in the front room. It ended up taking him not even fully into the doorway of the bedroom before he noticed.

The way we used to have it was the bed in the middle of the wall with a nightstand and bookcase on one side and a nightstand and rocking chair on the other. On the wall opposite the bed we had a dresser to the right of the bathroom door and a dresser and bookcase to the left of the bathroom door.

The new arrangement has the bed moved closer to the bedroom door by about two feet so now there’s just a nightstand on that side and a whole “sitting area” on the other. The sitting area is just a braided rug and the same rocking chair, but there’s potential.

After trading out the bookcase from the living room for one in the bedroom, I put two bookcases on the right of the bathroom door and both dressers to the left of it.

After I got used to being two feet over in the bedroom, we’ve both decided we really like the new arrangement.

I didn’t take any before pictures, but here’s the after.

One day Brett will come home and discover I’ve decorated the bathroom with penguins. :brett:

4 Shared thoughts

Happy Things

17 October 2011, 8:31 pm by Giggles
Categories: Happy Things, Work

I wore my yellow peasant shirt today and several people said I looked happy. (Photo of me in the shirt from my birthday in 2008.) So here’s some happy things from today.

  • New belly dancing scarves! I ordered four more a week and a half ago (because yes I need that many), and they arrived today. So I had to try them on and shimmy a little. More about why I need that many soon.
  • Teaching. I love my college class. It was great to interact with my elementary kids today. Those moments really just flow for me. It’s a high. And today they were the high points of my day.
  • We were watching “The Sing Off” tonight and one of the judges made a comment about everyone at home dancing along in their Hello Kitty pajamas. Brett commented that maybe he should go get his Purple Kitty pajama pants. I love that he called them that.
  • Cooler weather. Oh it’s nice to need a jacket now for our Monday night walks.
  • I’m at the point in the semester where I’m teaching motivation. And I try to show a video with each chapter. So there’s this kid, who is also very happy:

Sometimes you just need to list the happy things. What’s happy in your life right now?

5 Shared thoughts

Spreadsheet training

15 October 2011, 9:59 pm by Giggles
Categories: Education, Health, Random, Science & Tech

One of the assignments I give in my class is for the students to try classical and operant conditioning on themselves. I’ve talked before about how I’ve conditioned myself to take a daily vitamin and how I unplugged for a week from forums last year as well.

This year I set several goals for myself. And then I set-up a spreadsheet that listed all my goals. My spreadsheet acts as both the stimulus for classical conditioning and the reinforcer for operant conditioning. Each week the spreadsheet automatically adds how many times I should do that goal for the week. If it’s daily it adds a seven to the total. If it’s four times a week it adds a four to the total. And then if I do that goal I put a 1 in the box for the day and it gets added to my total times doing it for the year. And it’s been awesome!

I’ve had six items on my “daily” list for the bulk of the year (morning prayer, scripture study, daily vitamin, fresh fruit or veggie, isometric exercise, and a photo) and this week I just added a seventh (flossing). Because of my previous success with the other six I fully expect to be successful at this new one as well. I’ve kept up with all my daily things perfectly this year. Oddly, or maybe not so, the ones that aren’t daily haven’t been that great (the once a week and once a month ones have though). Probably because I can put them off till later in the week and then it just gets put off too long. I’ll have to work on a better system for those things.

Having something to be accountable for, even just a spreadsheet, has made a real big difference in helping me do the things I want to do each day. I’d like to think that after almost a whole year I could leave off the spreadsheet and keep doing it on my own. But I know me. I’ve had periods where I’ve been great at those things in the past, for a time, and then I get busy or forgetful and suddenly I can’t remember when the last time I did them was. So I’ll keep my spreadsheet.

Power to the spreadsheet!

3 Shared thoughts

I am woman

13 October 2011, 8:19 am by Giggles
Categories: Musings, Questions

What words or ideas do you think of when you hear the word “woman”? Are they different than the words and ideas you think of for the word “lady”? What is the role of a woman? Aside from genetics and anatomy, what is the difference between men and women? What is it that makes a woman a woman (aside from genetics and anatomy)? What is a woman not (aside from a man)? What does it mean to be a woman?

I’ve thought off and on about these questions. Being a woman is such a part of me that I rarely even give it much thought beyond what I’d give any other part of me. But maybe it’s time to start thinking about it in more detail.

What would you tell a young woman about being a woman? What would be important for a teenage young woman to know about herself as a woman?

I’m going to be talking specifically about this topic to a group of 16 & 17 year-old young women soon. Which is probably why I’ve started thinking about it more. And I think it is a very large topic. I know many strong examples of womanhood, it only seems natural to make this a community discussion.

5 Shared thoughts

Dating Decisions

11 October 2011, 9:13 pm by Giggles
Categories: Relationships

The lesson in Laurels on Sunday was about dating decisions. And that was when I learned the reason behind bad dates – they make great stories when you’re talking to young women just getting in to dating. I’m glad all those bad dates I went on will serve a purpose. I’m also very glad that all the dates I’ll go on from here on out will pretty much be guaranteed good in some fashion, and not just in the “this will make a great story some day” kind of good.

Yesterday The Art of Manliness did a post about good date ideas for the fall. Brett and I still date. We even do a few of the things on that list, but, of course, since we live in a place that doesn’t really have fall, our fall dates are a bit different. And then, of course there’s the fact that it’s Brett and I that makes all dates just a bit different.

So here’s my response to their list of fall date ideas.

  1. Football Game – I think we’ve got that one covered. Better yet, we’re getting paid to go on that date!
  2. Pumpkin Carving – Last fall we decorated our pumpkins and then cooked and froze them. This year we’re just getting one pumpkin for freezing. But we’ll do it together.
  3. Haunted Attractions – This is one we won’t do. I don’t do haunted things because they are too evil, bloody, psychotic for me.
  4. State Fair – The Arizona state fair is this time of year, but it’s also two hours away. The county fair is in April (I have no idea why that is, it doesn’t make any sense) and that’s just across the freeway from us. So maybe we’ll have to hit that one one of these years, just not in the fall.
  5. Halloween Parade – The only Halloween parades I know about are the ones in elementary school, and those are the best. Maybe there will be one at the ward party. Kids in costumes are fun.
  6. Hayride – Now that would be fun (as long as it wasn’t a haunted one). But I don’t know where they are around us. We’ll have to look into that. Can time in the hammock count for now?
  7. Foliage Drive – This one made me laugh. Because, um, the trees don’t change colors here. I did notice today though that the cholla cactus look more yellow than green right now. Can that count? I do love seeing all the cactus blooms during the spring and monsoon seasons though.
  8. Apple Cider Mill – I’ve seen a lot of cotton fields and soy fields, and a pecan grove. But I haven’t seen any apple orchards. Another thing we’ll have to look into.
  9. Ghost Hunt – I’m into these about as much as I’m into haunted attractions. Although Brett did take me to a haunted brothel on our second date. The ticket taker told me I wouldn’t see any because I didn’t believe in them like that. Whether it was because I didn’t believe or because there really weren’t any, I didn’t see any. I tend to think dead souls have better things to do.
  10. Weenie Roast – We’ll definitely be using our fire pit more now that it’s not hot enough to cook the food outside without the fire.

It’s interesting that corn maze didn’t make their list. I’ve wanted to do one but never have. There is one in town that we’ll see about doing next year.

Our list now would also include celebrating our wedding anniversary (although the wedding looked a bit more winter than fall). And of course cornhole. Maybe we’ll see if we can find another Turkey Trot this year too.

8 Shared thoughts