Hope

Categories: Infertility

Two weeks ago I wrote openly about our infertility for the first time. If you’d known what we were going through for the past two years you would’ve seen a lot of it between the lines. Something like that has a way of taking over your life. It was in the background of everything we did.

Two weeks from tomorrow we will be participating in the Arizona Walk of Hope, an event to raise awareness and money for infertility. The two of us make up “Team Tohledoth” (tohledoth is the Hebrew word for “generations”).

We have greatly appreciated all of the support we have received from our family and friends that knew our struggles. Infertility sucks. It’s taboo so nobody talks about it. And it can seem like a very lonely road. I’m really looking forward to spending a morning with people who know what it’s like and have walked this way before. The last two years I have admired the strength of people who were open about what they went through and looked forward to when I’d have that strength too so I could pay it forward.

If you are in the Phoenix/Mesa/Tucson area and want to literally support us on this Walk of Hope, please join our team. If you are not in the area but still want to support us you can donate to our team.

Related:
Big Things – 22 February 2013
The effect of SB1376 on our family – 25 February 2013
IVF – What it is, and why it isn’t the same as abortion – 27 February 2013
Imagine your children – 1 March 2013

What have I done?

Categories: Education

Putting the finishing touches on my dissertation I feel like it’s my child heading out the door and I keep pulling it back so I can lick my fingers and pat down a few stray hairs, straighten its bow tie (because my dissertation has that kind of style), brush some imaginary lint of its shoulders one more time (for the twentieth time). Just let me tweak it here. Let me check it one more time there.

The sucker is 190 pages long. Almost 30,500 words. Just over ten pages of references. Ninety-three pages of appendix (talk about an inflamed appendix). Five tables and five figures. It’s been long nights, reams of paper, nightmares (Voldemort was going to use the worksheets I was developing to determine who was a muggle and who was not), forms upon forms, formatting issues, and stickers. That’s a lot of stuff to keep track of, a lot of stray hairs to pat down.

And if I could stop straightening its bow tie already, it’d be finished.

Holy crap. I wrote a dissertation. :apple:

What’s for dinner?

Categories: Food, Happy Things, Learn Something

The first three months of our marriage we tried out a lot of recipes. Since then, while we’ve managed a bit of a variety most of the week, we fell into a bit of a rut. Time to break the rut. Especially since we have some real good cook books. Also, we accidentally ended up with too much chicken and ground beef in our freezer after our last trip to Sam’s Club because we forgot to check if we were actually running low on those.

So we pulled out the cook books. Two of my current favorites are from America’s Test Kitchen – The Best 30 Minute Recipe and Slow Cooker Revolution. We’ve tried several recipes in both and write our notes and reviews next to them as well as when we made them. It’s a fun little food journal.

Two weeks ago Brett decided he wanted soup. So we put it on the calendar. Then it snowed that day so it was perfect soup weather. Flipping through our cook books I decided we were going to try Caldo Verde, a Portuguese soup, from the 30 Minute Recipe book. I’m not quite coordinated to get most of those recipes to 30 minutes yet, but that one was 20 minutes from prep to simmer and then for the last ten minutes of simmering I was able to clean up all my choppings and prep stuff. And then we ate a delicious soup. Definitely making that one again (this week in fact, need to finish off our sausage and kale).

And then we needed to cook some chicken last week. So I looked up a chicken recipe in the slow cooker book and we made a ginger chicken dish that we’ll definitely be making again. And since the recipe asked for 6 chicken breasts we used the chicken on our Hawaiian Haystacks two days later and our salads the day after that. We also decided we need more ginger in our diet. That’s a wonderfully smelling/tasting aromatic.

With our recent culinary successes, I sat down with our March calendar and our trusty cookbooks to plan some more adventures this month. This month we’ll be mixing up our standard calendar with:

  • Tater Tot Casserole – My own design. Ground beef with mixed veggies and cream of potato soup (because I don’t like cream of mushroom). Topped with tater tots and baked. Top with grated cheese at the end.
  • Caldo Verde – Brett liked this so much when we made it two weeks ago that I only got one bowl of it because I had to leave for mutual right after dinner. This time we’re cooking it on a day when I’m not leaving after dinner.
  • Hawaiian Meatballs – My brother’s recipe actually, and a favorite of mine. We just haven’t had it since we were first dating when I was trying to impress Brett with my limited culinary skills (cooking for more than just me has made cooking much more worth it, and me a better cook).
  • Chicken Pot Pie – On Pi Day. I don’t exactly have a recipe for this one yet, so if you have a good one… The only ones I’ve ever made were heating up frozen ones, and Brett says those are too soggy.
  • Meatloaf – My last experience with meatloaf was an utter disaster (one of the truly inedible foods I’ve ever made), and in 1996. But I have full confidence that the America’s Test Kitchen slow cooker recipe will work.
  • Chicken and broccoli sauce over ziti pasta – Another Slow Cooker Revolution recipe.
  • Slow cooker spicy sloppy joes – We’ve actually never had sloppy joes together, about time to fix that. This will be a new recipe.
  • Easter Lamb – We’ll probably use the recipe we used last year because that was just good stuff. Lamb roast cooked in the slow cooker with garlic and rosemary.

We’re both really looking forward to dinner this month. Next month we’ve already got potato soup in homemade bread bowls (we’ve tried several potato soup recipes but we’re still looking for one we both like, and I’ve never made bread bowls before) and spicy pesto meatballs on the calendar. The 30 Minute book also has several variations of stir fry. We tried and really liked one of them, might be time to try another (good use of chicken).

Imagine your children

Categories: Family, Infertility, Politics

Imagine your children. Imagine your life with them. This should be especially easy if you have children. Imagine the changes they have made to your life and your heart. Imagine the joy they bring.

Now imagine that because of a medical condition either you or your spouse has – your children never existed. What difference would that make in your life? In your heart? Where would you be today without your children?

Now imagine there is medical treatment for your condition that would give you back your children. That would give life to your children. But imagine that the laws of the land make it, if not extremely difficult, actually impossible to get that medical treatment. Imagine that politicians, politicians who have children, who never struggled to have children, who do not realize the odds are many of their friends have struggled to have children, have decided that because of your medical condition you are unfit to bear children, that you do not value the life of a child enough to have them even though you are more than willing to sign away your entire life savings if it meant you could get the medical treatment that would allow you to have children.

Now stop imagining and realize that is exactly what politicians in Alabama, Arizona, Iowa, Kansas, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Washington are doing right now.

These politicians do not value the life of the 5 MILLION people who are on this earth as a result of IVF, people who would only exist in the imagination of their parents if it were not for IVF and the surrounding research.

My children deserve to live in more than just my imagination.

Related:
Big Things – 22 February 2013
The effect of SB1376 on our family – 25 February 2013
IVF – What it is, and why it isn’t the same as abortion – 27 February 2013
Hope – 8 March 2013

IVF – what it is, and why it isn’t the same as abortion

Categories: Health, Infertility, Politics

A friend of mine asked:

Is this the first time fertility clinics have been required to report to someone? What is it they expect to accomplish by passing this bill (SB 1376)?

I thought I’d share my answer with everyone and expand on it to explain the difference between In-Vitro Fertilization and abortion (trust me, there are people who don’t seem to know the difference), which is the issue hiding behind the bill.

All fertility clinics nationwide are already required to report all procedures and outcomes to the CDC. Arizona wants to duplicate that reporting within the state (with what funding nobody knows) and then study the need to regulate it (the study will also be funded from magic money).

The group behind this bill is behind bills in other states where proposed regulations basically eliminate the possibility of IVF. They equate IVF with abortion since not all created embryos are transferred (not all embryos survive to transfer day, and some people let that get their panties in a wad). IVF is the exact opposite of abortion.

I’ve had an ironic chuckle when I’ve gone to our specialist over the the last two years because his office is across the street from a Planned Parenthood clinic. What we were doing was everything possible to plan to be parents, pretty much the opposite of what was going on across the street.

The Tucson news paper finally acknowledged this bill today – Arizona Daily Star: Legislation on in vitro fertilization feared as step toward ban of process. The opening paragraph is exactly why we oppose this bill, “What’s being billed as a legislative study of in vitro fertilization could be the first step toward banning the process outright in Arizona.”

There are several red flags reading through the article from the sponsor and supporters, red flags that indicate they do not understand IVF. It seems they feel that couples using IVF, either with their own sperm and egg or through donors, basically adopting embryos, are not pro-life. Which means they feel that giving life to embryos is anti-life in some way. Which makes no sense. They are concerned about the long-term effects on the children of IVF, children who would not have life to begin with if it were not for IVF. They’ve heard a little about the scientific process but they have no depth of understanding of the emotional, mental, financial, spiritual process that IVF is, no understanding of what it really costs a couple to undergo IVF.

In an IVF cycle the woman injects hormones to stimulate her ovaries. Normally a woman’s ovaries make one egg a cycle (two in the case of fraternal twins, which is rare). The human body is designed to make one egg because humans don’t have litters. But for IVF you use hormones to make the ovaries make as many eggs, mature eggs, as possible.

Doctors use ultrasound to keep an eye on the ovaries. When the eggs are looking ready you do one last shot, a trigger shot of hcg, that finalizes the maturing process and gets the eggs ready to be retrieved. The clock is then ticking. At almost exactly 36 hours later the eggs need to be retrieved. Too soon and they won’t be mature enough, too late and they’ll pop out on their own and get lost in the fallopian tubes. (I hate that part. I’m a huge bundle of nerves all 36 of those hours.)

Retrieval is a minor outpatient surgical procedure. The doctor uses an ultrasound to guide a super long needle and retrieve as many eggs as he can. Then comes the “in-vitro” part, the “in glass” part. In a petri dish, not a test tube, the eggs and sperm are allowed to mix and mingle and get to know each other. Sometimes the doctor will set them up with a procedure called ICSI, injecting a single sperm into an egg.

And this is where those supporting personhood bills get all mixed up. Not all of the eggs will fertilize, just like happens in the fallopian tubes. Even some of the eggs that have a sperm injected into them don’t start to grow. Some of the fertilized eggs will start to grow as embryos for a bit but then stop, just like happens in the fallopian tubes. These embryos die. Just like in the fallopian tubes. Only when they die in a petri dish they don’t get flushed out of the woman’s body with her normal menstrual fluids with her suspecting nothing. When embryos die in a petri dish somebody, the doctor, knows about it. Rather than flushing them down the toilet or throwing them away on a tampon or pad, like an unsuspecting woman would do, the embryologist disposes of them as medical waste. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS ABORTION! Disposing of dead embryos is not destroying them.

Even embryos that do grow well enough and get transferred, three or five days after retrieval, don’t all implant. Even naturally created embryos don’t all implant. We have transferred several embryos total during six cycles (three fresh and three with embryos that were previously frozen). We know three implanted based on blood tests at what would be two weeks after “ovulation.” The first two miscarried at 8 weeks and 5 weeks gestation, the third is currently treating my bladder like a trampoline. We did not murder the other embryos. They were not aborted. They simply did not implant. Such are the odds of life.

Personhood supporters make the jump from embryos not surviving long enough to transfer or implant clear to abortion (disposing of a dying embryo is the same as killing an implanted embryo in their minds), making embryos just for the heck of it because we can, and human/animal hybrids. Talk about leaps of logic!

Personhood supporters worry about selective reduction. In a country where parents must often pay entirely out-of-pocket for IVF they are going to try to stack the odds a bit and the chances of multiples increases slightly. In countries where IVF is supported by the government, Israel for example provides IVF for parents until they have two live births, doctors and parents can relax and transfer one embryo at a time, resulting in one baby, not multiples. Supporting IVF would reduce “selective reduction.” Making IVF more difficult is what makes multiples more likely.

We all know life is a miracle. Any couple that goes through the physical, mental, emotional, and financial rigors of IVF completely understands the miracle that life is, in a completely different way than other parents might (and apparently than some “pro-life” politicians too). IVF parents value the life of an embryo in ways others cannot. IVF parents have done everything they possibly can to give those embryos life. Putting reproductive technology, especially IVF, in the same category as abortion is wrong.

I love our embryos – all of them. If you heard me read this post to you out loud I’d be all weepy and choked up at the end. I hate that anyone thinks they had no right to even exist in the first place, even if I’ll never wrap them in a quilt.

Related:
Big Things – 22 February 2013
The effect of SB1376 on our family – 25 February 2013
Imagine your children – 1 March 2013
Hope – 8 March 2013

The effect of SB 1376 on our family

Categories: Family, Health, Infertility, Politics

Have you told Arizona senators they have no right to interfere with the creation of life? These are the letters I’ve written thus far.

Senator Griffin,

I am a pro-life constituent in your district. My greatest dream and desire has always been to be a mother. Unfortunately, due to certain medical conditions, that dream would never be a reality without medical treatment. We are one of the 1 in 8 couples in the United States medically diagnosed with infertility. After years of tests, procedures, and treatments, there is now a growing little girl inside me who likes to kick me awake each morning, who moves around when her dad talks to her after work, and who is the product of IVF.

I am pro-life, especially the life of my daughter and her future siblings who are currently embryos waiting at our doctor’s office. The passage of SB1376 has the potential to threaten the lives of our future children.

The reporting required by SB1376 is already required by the CDC. Additional reporting has the potential to violate the privacy of the doctor/patient relationship. Future regulation of IVF in the state of Arizona would limit the access state residents have to necessary medical care, limiting the rights of families and their future children.

My husband and I have supported you and voted for you in the past. But your support and vote for SB1376 would remove our support and votes in the future.

Please consider the 12% of families in your district who this bill will negatively affect. Do not restrict their rights to medical treatment.

Sincerely,
Lisa M. G. Dennis, M.Ed.

This is a copy of the letter I sent to the local news stations.

I am one of the 12% of Tucsonans who are diagnosed with the medical condition of infertility. The only way we can realize our dreams of a family is through medical intervention, interventions such as IVF. After two years of tests and procedures, including surgery, it was determined that the only medical treatment that would help our condition was IVF. Even then we suffered two miscarriages and three failed attempts before one of our embryos took hold and is now a very active little girl we are expecting to meet later this summer. We are fortunate to still have some embryos remaining that are waiting to hopefully be our daughter’s siblings in the future.

Unfortunately, Senate Bill 1376 has the potential to limit the access Arizonans will have to such medical treatment in the future. The reporting required by SB 1376 is already required and published by the CDC. Future regulations of IVF that may result from this reporting would limit the rights of Arizonans and their children. It could endanger the future of our embryos currently awaiting a chance for life.

Infertility patients already must face a seemingly overwhelming range of emotions and challenges in their efforts to have children. The invasion of the privacy of the doctor/patient relationship this bill would impose is one more challenge they should not have to deal with.

Thank you for listening to my story. I appreciate any coverage you could give this bill.

Lisa M. G. Dennis, M.Ed.

When I pull out my academic initials like that, you know I mean business. I have had no responses from anyone so far. I’ll be making phone calls later today.

And while you’re at it, check out this amazingly worded letter to Senator Ward about the right we DO have to make life – Almost a Father – Dear Senator Ward: We have EVERY Right to Create OUR Embryo in a Lab in Arizona

Related:
Big Things – 22 February 2013
IVF – What it is, and why it isn’t the same as abortion – 27 February 2013
Imagine your children – 1 March 2013
Hope – 8 March 2013

Big Things

Categories: Education, Family, Health, Infertility, Life, Politics

One month from today I will defend my doctoral dissertation. The entire thing is written and is now going through a very thorough shredding also known as “revising.” I am very excited to be approaching this point. I began my doctoral studies just over 5 years ago. It was about 7 years ago I seriously started to think I’d be the type of person to go for a Doctorate after a Masters degree. It’s been a long hard road. Finishing is going to be huge.

Oddly though, getting my doctorate will not be the biggest thing I do in 2013. And trust me, there’s not much bigger than getting a doctorate.

Fifteen months into our marriage we became one of the 1 in 8 couples in the United States officially diagnosed infertile. Over the next almost two years I underwent many different tests and procedures as we attempted to both isolate the cause and find a treatment to overcome this medical condition. As you might imagine, it could make for a very long story. The results though are that it is primarily caused by my extensive endometriosis and the only way we’ve been able to overcome it is with in-vitro fertilization. And even then we’ve suffered two miscarriages and three failed attempts before getting to the point where we are at right now, expecting a baby girl the first half of July.

What an amazing world we live in that has such incredible medical advances that make our daughter possible. I will be forever grateful for the technology that gives our daughter the right to exist.

Which is why I have a hard time understanding how people like Arizona State Senator Ward can make comments like she does at 2:00 minutes into this clip.


KPHO: AZ Embryo Tracking Bill Moves Forward

Senator Ward and the other sponsors of Arizona State Senate Bill 1376 claim to be pro-life, but their actions could lead to it being illegal for others like our daughter to have life. Our daughter, who has a beautifully beating heart, who kicks more when she hears her dad talking when he gets home from work, had no right to be created according to these state Senators. I am pro-life, especially the life of my daughter, a result of in-vitro fertilization.

The wording of the bill is innocent enough. They want to duplicate the reporting already done to the CDC (and a little more) and then create a committee to study the need for more regulations on the creation of life. If they did not feel there was need to regulate it they would not need such a committee. The passage of this bill could potentially make it impossible for the siblings of our daughter to continue to grow. Earlier this month North Dakota considered regulations that would have made it impossible for our daughter to be on her way, regulations that went against the current research on in-vitro fertilization. The passage of this bill in Arizona could be a stepping stone to such regulations in this state.

Senator Gail Griffin is our state senator, and one of the sponsors of the bill. We are writing her and calling her office to let her know her constituents do not all support her actions and to tell her about the negative implications this bill could have on our family.

If you live in Arizona, please let your state senator know you do not support this bill (find your senator). If you do not live in Arizona, please contact our state senator and let her know her actions could negatively affect our family and the lives of our children. The senate vote on this bill could happen as early as next week.

Related:
The effect of SB1376 on our family – 25 February 2013
IVF – What it is, and why it isn’t the same as abortion – 27 February 2013
Imagine your children – 1 March 2013
Hope – 8 March 2013