No violento mar

16 November 2008, 11:11 pm by Giggles
Categories: Gospel, Happy Things, Remembers

On the violent sea.

I’m not such a huge fan of the oceans. I think they make pretty pictures and it’s fun to walk along the beach, but I much prefer mountains to oceans. With one exception. And that exception is Matinhos, Paraná, Brasil. (Part of that exception was because if you turned your back to the ocean, you were looking at gorgeous mountains. What can I say, the place had it all.)

I lived in Matinhos from January 12, 2000, to February 8, 2000, four short weeks. I arrived on a bus from Curitiba that Wednesday afternoon in the city of Paranaguá. I got off the bus and my first thought was just how oppressive the heat was, it felt like I’d stepped into an oven. My second thought after that surprised me.

Sister Sudy was there with some members who gave us a ride an hour down the beach to Matinhos. We’d take that road at least once a week by bus while I was there.

Matinhos was a beach town. During the summer it was full of people. During the winter it was practically empty. I was there in the summer. Some of the streets were paved, but all the roads were covered in sand. And by the time we’d get home at night, so were we. It rained, daily. I sat down to write my parents a letter that first day to let them know where I was then, and the blue lines on my paper rubbed off on my hand because it was that humid. I really don’t know how our clothes ever dried.

Our house leaked, in just a few places at first, but over my bed at the end. We had frogs, I handled those. We had cockroaches, Sister Sudy took care of those. Half the days we didn’t have lunch because nobody would feed us. I was the only person in the town that spoke English, although there were a few that thought they did (I was pretty good at Portuguese by the time I left). And by the time I left one month later, my foot was so messed up I couldn’t walk and the pain kept me up at night.

And I absolutely loved it.

That was where I fell in love with Brasil. I think it took a while longer for Brasil to fall in love with me. Mas, um pedaço do meu coração estará sempre no Brasil.

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Guarda o marinheiro

15 November 2008, 6:56 pm by Giggles
Categories: Relationships

Protect the sailor

Last night we were watching tv and part of the show was at a prison where a prison break of one prisoner incited a prison riot. I had a hard time watching as the prisoners attacked the guards. I have a hard time watching a lot of violence actually.

As we watched the show I commented that I don’t know that I could ever marry a man who worked as a prison guard. Add to that list firemen, police officers, military personnel, and others along those lines.

I don’t know that I could live knowing my husband might not come home from work every time he left, wondering if our good-bye that morning would be our last. That worry would be too much for me I think.42D

I know women whose husbands do have jobs like that though. I believe they must be at least as brave as the men they love. I really don’t know how they do it.

Of course none of us knows when a good-bye will be our last. But the risks are certainly higher in some places than in others.

I hope all those working such jobs are protected. And I hope their loved ones find peace in their worry for them.

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Pouso natural

14 November 2008, 7:36 pm by Giggles
Categories: Family, Life

Natural resting place.

We all have our places where we like to be, where we feel peace, rest, and comfort. Where we live, home, should definitely be one of those places.

I have lived in a lot of different places over the years, with my family, with roommates, and by myself. For the most part, those places have all been natural places for me to be. There were a few times with a few roommates where I only went home to sleep and eat and tried to stay elsewhere as much as possible. But when it’s been up to me, I’ve tried to make my home a place where not only I felt completely comfortable, but where others felt comfortable too. My home needs to be a natural extension of myself.

When everything around you is chaos and stress, home should be a place where you feel safe.

You make your home. It is your natural environment. So make it some place you feel safe in, some place you feel protected. I love my home. It is definitely a place I enjoy being more than few other places on earth.

Related posts:
When you feel at home – 3 April 2006
What does it say about you – 29 November 2007
In familiar territory – 9 December 2007

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E em sossego alcanço

13 November 2008, 3:12 pm by Giggles
Categories: Family, Life

And peacefully I obtain.

A while back I found myself perusing a blog by angry women for some reason. I found it made me angry so I haven’t gone back. They were advertising a book or something or it was a topic of a post or something, but I saw the phrase: Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History.

Um, no. Well behaved women might not make the evening news. But they do make history, they just generally don’t get in the history book for what they did.

This all depends of course on your definitions of “well behaved” and “ill behaved.” Apparently, according to two very different groups, I could be classified as ill behaved. One group because I don’t hate men, and the other group because I’m not sitting at home waiting for a man. But since I tend to think that both of those groups are quite off their rocker, we’re going to go with my definitions.

Well behaved women make history all the time! Well behaved women are the ones who help others be the best they can. Well behaved women are the ones who teach others, especially children, so that they can grow up and continue improving on the world. Well behaved women are the ones that reach their potential, know their worth and their divine nature. Well behaved women are like the women in my life, my mom, my grandmas, my sister, my friends, my teachers, the women who made history by helping make me who I am.

You do not have to move a whole mountain at once to make history. A large gate swings on a small hinge. And a well behaved woman swings a very large gate.

(the same can be said of well behaved men too)

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Livra-me do mal

12 November 2008, 11:33 pm by Giggles
Categories: Gospel, Musings

Free me from the evil.

I have some weird dreams. I don’t believe they tell the future, but I do believe they are a way for my mind to creatively sort through whatever has been happening in my life. And trust me, it has some very creative ways that wake me up and make me think, “huh?” A dream I had Monday night (about a Christmas party of all things) helped me put a few things in perspective. I woke up having figured out how I should treat a few situations. I woke up thinking of Lot leaving Sodom and Gomorrah.

We all create our own world each day. We create our world through what we do, where we go, and who we associate with. It’s up to us, to a very large degree, to decide what comes into our world and what is not allowed. Which means if you don’t like your world, change it. Of course, that is true for everyone else as well, and the choices of others can have a great impact on our own lives. And sometimes there are situations that are completely beyond our control. But in those cases you can at least control how you are going to react.

After Lot and Abram parted ways, Lot ended up living in Sodom. I’m sure it was a nice place when he moved in. I’m sure they created some great memories there with their family. They put a lot of time and effort into their lives there. Leaving all that behind can be tough.

At the end of Genesis 18, Abraham and the Lord are talking about Sodom and Gomorrah. If there are enough righteous people in Sodom and Gomorrah, the Lord will spare them. Abraham starts with 50. If there are 50 righteous people, it is worth saving the cities. But Abraham had most likely heard about the cities and what was happening in them. So he starts lowering the number. What about 45? Or 40? 30? 20? And finally 10? If there are at least 10 righteous people, the cities will be saved.

There were 4.

The Lord did not destroy the righteous with the wicked though. Instead he commanded Lot and his family to leave the city.

Now here’s the thing I’ve been thinking about. When there were still at least 10, it was worth it for Lot to stick around and try to save the city. But there weren’t. And so they left.

But leaving Sodom and Gomorrah did not mean that the evil of Sodom and Gomorrah had won.

The people of the cities had chosen their path. Lot could have stayed in all the evil and tried to continue to preach the truth. But there comes a time when a city is past saving, past feeling. Mormon recognized the Nephite people had reached that point in a letter to his son (Moroni 9:11-23). The Nephite people would perish “because of the wilfulness of their hearts,” because ultimately they wanted the evil that would bring their own destruction.

At that point, you can stay and risk the evil pulling you down as well. Or you can leave, and not look back, and put the evil behind you.

So that’s what I’m going to be doing. I’m going to cut ties and leave, whether that be from an individual, a group, a place, or any other thing. And it won’t mean the evil won. It will mean I’ve chosen to not let it pull me down any further. I choose to not let that be part of my life any more. I choose what gets to be a part of my world, and evil in all its forms, contention, strife, they have no part in my life. This does not mean I will be closing myself off from the world. You cannot do that completely. Rather it means I’m going to be much more selective about what gets in and what does not. And it means that there will be times when I will have to decide that something is past my power to raise up and so I will step aside because I refuse to let them pull me down.

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Sou tão pequenino

11 November 2008, 12:35 pm by Giggles
Categories: Gospel, Musings

I am so small.

I love the night (except for the moths, do not like moths, at all, they will get me, I know they will).

Several weeks ago I was up in my office on the 6th floor of the education building grading a bunch of tests and entering the grades into the computer. The hall was practically empty because it was after 6pm and everyone had gone home. The door to the office was closed and a desk lamp illuminated the small part of the desk I was actually using. I had Pandora on the computer and was singing along a bit when I could sing without losing count of wrong answers. It was a good night. And then I stood up and looked out the window at the campus below me. It was dark. Quiet. The lights in the buildings and a few out at the stadium were enough to just not quite hint at the exactness of the shapes that were out there. I love that look to the world.

I have always been a night person (except for the moth thing, I have never ever liked moths). There’s just something about having the whole world to yourself like that when everyone else is asleep. It’s magical. I don’t like driving long distances at night, but driving home from some place in town, a friend’s, work, late at night when you can go several miles before seeing another car on the road, is so peaceful. It’s like drawing in a relaxed breath at the end of a day. (Driving long distances at night I’m too worried about falling asleep and hitting bunny rabbits.) There are fewer distractions at night and you can get more done.

And it’s not just the quiet and peace of the night I enjoy. The night sky is absolutely magical. One of my new favorite “blogs” that I check daily is Astronomy Picture of the Day. Every now and then the picture is an artist rendition of some distant phenomenon, but they are generally pictures from satellites or telescopes. And they are amazing. The creations of God are beyond comprehension in their scope, power, majesty, and beauty. Back in September they had a composite picture of the recent total eclipse. It’s gorgeous. (Other pictures I love from there: sparkly stars, stars and galaxies, nebulae, beautiful spiral, lagoon nebula, spiral galaxy, bolide)

Another blog I really enjoy is What’s Up? It lets you know what stars, planets, and other celestial things are out there that you can see during the night. I often walk around at night with my eyes to the heavens, in awe of what is there. One of the books I finished this year was a sidereal book (Cosmo by Carl Sagan) about the history of the world, taken clear back to the Big Bang, and all of the discoveries that have been made in the heavens. I am absolutely fascinated by all things celestial.

For some, seeing the vastness and grandness of space could make them feel oh so very small. Even Moses felt that way when, after seeing the numberless, endless, creations of God, “he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed” (Moses 1:10). Yet God tells Moses, “the heavens, they are many, and they cannot be numbered unto man; but they are numbered unto me, for they are mine” (Moses 1:37).

While the number of atoms that have come together to make my body are infintisimally small compared to the total number of atoms in the universe, I am known. I am numbered. I am God’s. And He knows me. I am not small and insignificant in His eyes. But I am a beloved daughter of the Creator. And looking up to the celestial heavens, and marveling at all that is out there, I cannot help but marvel at all that is within me as well. The heavens are a testament to Him. My life can be as well.

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Mas perdão espero, já me arrependi

10 November 2008, 3:10 pm by Giggles
Categories: Gospel

Yet I await forgiveness, I have already repented.

The talks in Sacrament yesterday were about repentance, with a little bit of forgiveness thrown in. They were good. I think forgiveness needs to be talked about more though.

The scriptures say you are to forgive someone up to 70×7 times. Or, in other words, a lot. I’ve discovered there are many different type of people we all have to forgive.

You have to forgive people who messed up and are sincerely sorry and repentant about it. You have to forgive people who don’t know they hurt you and so don’t know you are trying to forgive them. You have to forgive people who know they hurt you, and while they might be sorry for that time, you can be pretty sure they could do it again. You have to forgive people who know they hurt you, but aren’t sorry one bit about it. And then you have to forgive yourself too.

Sometimes forgiveness comes easier than at others. Sometimes it comes quickly and other times it can take a very long time. I’ve learned that at all times though, forgiveness, either for ourselves or for others, is a gift from heaven. And as such, you can pray to receive it. Forgiveness is almost always a matter of prayer.

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