I have been absolutely amazed at the level of empathy and sympathy I have for our daughter. I want nothing more than to take away her pain. It has been real hard to watch her deal with reflux. I cried when she got her two month shots to see the look on her face and know there was nothing I could do for her and I couldn’t even explain to her what was going on. The only thing I could do was hold her.
I’ve been thinking this week about how a kiss doesn’t mean anything to her right now, wondering when she’ll start to associate that with love. I kiss her forehead or her nose, and I can tell it carries no feeling with it for her.
But I stroke her head and she starts to fall asleep. I hold her hand and she relaxes. When she starts to cry in the car I can often calm her down just by letting her hold my thumb (or both thumbs if she’s extra upset, and only if I’m not driving).
It almost seems like we are born knowing that when someone holds your hand they care about you. All she needs, all any of us need, is a gentle reminder that someone is there for us, that someone cares, that we are not alone.
May there always be someone there to hold her hand.