It is interesting to me to read on the internet about the plans women make to tell their husband they are pregnant. The special dinners they plan, the presents they buy, the subtle hints they leave. That was a world I would never be a part of. Those were dreams I would never have. But that dream was not important.
Even before we started working with our fertility doctor, Brett knew enough about my body and my cycle to know the day we would know if I was pregnant or not (both of us kind of thrive on knowledge, the fact that I can have a graph on a spreadsheet keeping track of my hormones really appeals to both of us). And when we did start seeing our reproductive endocrinologist, Brett knew exactly when my different appointments were.
We knew we wanted children. That was a given. There was never any question. Both of us dreamed of parenthood. While I could never surprise Brett with a pregnancy announcement, when we started treatments I refused to not be the first person to know I was pregnant. There are some things that you should know before a lab tech knows, and I think pregnancy is one of them (cholesterol levels maybe not so much). That was a dream I held on to. And those early morning hours when the two of us were the only two people who knew, those were priceless.
We’ve had many dreams over the last three years waiting for this little girl. And while they have been modified many times, the important thing was we did not give up on them, even when the skies got rough.
I first recall hearing this song last May. I was standing at the reception desk of our RE after an appointment waiting to set up my next appointment. For me it captured this road to our dream. I have learned so much about myself, our relationship, my God, and what it truly means to not give up on your dreams. This is my song for our daughter (Brett has picked a different song for the two of them).
This dream has come so far to be here right now. She’s already taught me so much about who I am. It doesn’t matter how rough the skies get when the dreams really matter.