Quotable Olympics

Just like past years I’m “watching” the Olympics with Amanda (The Book Guardian). She’s three hours ahead of us so we don’t give each other spoilers but we’re still able to text back and forth about it and it’s a lot of fun. We mainly make fun of the commentators who can’t seem to let a moment pass without saying something so they often say really weird things.

While Iddo was around for the last Olympics, the winter games in Sochi, she has no memory of it (which might be good considering I tried showing her what figure skating is by skating around our living room). So this is basically her first Olympics. She’s fine with letting a moment pass without saying something, but because of her understanding of the world, in particular sports, she’s also saying some really weird things.

She and Shimri are both loving dancing around to all the music. Shimri loves to clap whenever she hears anyone clap too. Shimei tried to do a vault off the couch Sunday night but it ended up being a belly flop onto the floor. Iddo has said she wants to swim at the Olympics. But she doesn’t want to get her eyes wet so we’re looking at other sports she might be interested in. Rowing is catching her attention because it’s water (she loves water), they aren’t getting their eyes wet, and they have big shovels.

Here are the quotes of the games so far:

From the Opening Ceremonies

• “This represents São Paulo, which is the largest city in Brazil. Rio is second. And if you’re watching this in America, which all of you are, we have a story coming up which will make you think twice.” The coming story had nothing to do with the size of the cities.
• They described Brasilians as “cultural cannibals.” Here in the US we describe ourselves as a melting pot, which is a more appetizing way to describe it. Not sure why they went with the unappetizing cannibals for Brasil.
• We like the title for the president of Gambia – His Excellency Sheik Professor Doctor President
• Roughly every two years I wish the US had a more interesting national dress.

The Events

• Iddo watching rugby – “They’re all falling down.” “They’re all trying to hold each other.”
• Commentator during the men’s road cycling race – “If you’ve got a seat belt at home we’d suggest you put it on.”
• Commentator during women’s individual 4×100 individual medley swimming – “That’s a beautiful back stroke. You could put a cup of water on her forehead and it would not spill” How would you know?
• Iddo during the women’s individual 4×100 individual medley swimming – “Mom, they’re jumping in the water.” “That’s the breast stroke,” I told her, “It’s the hardest stroke.” “It’s the funny stroke.”
• Iddo decided she’d like to do men’s gymnastics when she gets big, particularly the pommel horse.
• Commentator on women’s synchronized diving – “The Chinese are deep in diving.”
• Does anyone know why the swimmers wear big winter coats when they come out to the pool? Is the pool area really that cold?
• Hickies are supposed to help the athletes?
• Boomer Phelps has a cool personalized Tula.
• And the Chinese male swimmers are swimming in neon pink swim suits because…?
• Iddo wanted to know which of the water polo players was being bad that required them to have a time out.
• They’re playing the Imperial March at the fencing. I’m not sure if I should smile or roll my eyes.
• Iddo thinks the fencers are being bad because they are hitting and poking. I’m not sure how to explain that it’s okay for them to hit and poke but she still can’t hit or poke her brother and sister.

There will definitely be more to come. Because both the commentators and Iddo just can’t help themselves.