My theories on traffic

I spend a LOT of time driving these days. I get pretty close to 400 miles a week on my car. And most of those miles are on the freeway. About 10 hours or so on the freeway every week has given me plenty of time to think about, of all things, driving. And seeing that I get a kick out of watching people and their interactions, I’ve had a lot of fun watching all the other cars on the freeway and testing various theories and watching how they play out.

In an experiment, you need to have a constant against which you can compare everything else. So I have set myself up to be the constant in my experiments. And I have done this through the miracle that is cruise control. I know that my speed is a set constant that does not change. And so I can watch how others either pass me or are passed by me, knowing that it is their speed that changes and not mine.

My favorite cars are the ones who just have to be the fastest on the road. They crack me up. They are also the cause of most congestion. This is because they have to drive in the far left lane, because they are obviously the fastest car on the road. This inspite of the fact that they are constantly being passed by people on the right. If they could just swallow a little pride and change lanes, traffic would move a lot smoother. What is fun though, is when they start to get passed, and so they speed up. Since I am going a constant speed, I can tell they are speeding up. They get up just far enough that they can’t be passed, and then slow down again. I continue on my merry way in my lane, start to pass them again, and they speed up again. It can go on for miles.

And that’s the second part of my theory. I think most traffic congestion can also be found to have its roots in people who can’t drive a consistent speed to save their lives. They will go anywhere from 65 to 80, up and down and back up again. There have been a couple of crashes on the freeway that I’ve seen recently (after the fact, not the actual crash), and I know there are several every day. It seems that a crash should be pretty impossible since everyone is going the same direction, and should be going basically the same speed. But with certain people’s inconsistencies, it is very possible to suddenly slam into the back of someone who was going a certain speed five second ago and is now going slower.

In neither of these cases have I seen it be one type of person or another who is more inclined to be guilty. If anything, I would say women are more guilty of thinking they are the fastest on the road when they really aren’t, but that will require more observation. Without a doubt though, those with the most inconsistencies are those on cell phones.

My third theory is about flat tires. On one drive I saw three people on the side of the road with flat tires. People had stopped to help the first two, who happend to be women. The third was a poor male, and nobody was stopping to help him. So, if you are going to get a flat tire on the freeway, it’s much better to be a woman. You don’t even have to show a little leg to get any help.

As I continue driving, I will see what else I can learn. People are so fascinating.